derbygirlart:

Prairieland Punishers v Peoria Push

I’m a few weeks ahead of schedule and out of my brace already!   Thanks for asking!  

I’ll try to keep posting my thoughts until I’m 100%.The archives on our wordpress are a little bit easier to nagivate than here on tumblr.

http://hexchromosome.wordpress.com/category/dixies-injury-blog/ 

derbygirlart:

Midwest Brewhaha

Dixie’s Knee Drama - Skating with an Injury - Bad Advice Edition

I’m not a doctor, I just have a couple of sexy nurse outfits.  So far be it from me to tell you to not skate broken.

Despite not having an ACL, I played 3 bouts in 3 days at Dust Devil. Here’s my advice if you’re going to do it:

• Don’t take drugs beforehand! If you have prescription pain meds, wait until AFTER the bout.  Do NOT preemptively take something that could make you loopy unless you’ve already been taking them under the guidance of a doctor and know how you will react.  If you’re playing a tournament like I did, don’t take more drugs than will wear off by the next game, which is probably about a fourth of what you think you need.   If it’s a same day game, stick with the over-the-counter pain meds. Sorry.
• You can however, do as my surgeons suggest and take strong over-the-counter meds like Aleve.  According to this medical professional you can take 4 a day despite what the directions say.
• Sleep a lot.  Especially if you’re playing a tournament.  Sleep is when your body heals, so if you’re shredding up something that your body is already fighting to knit back together, do yourself a favor and get as much rest as possible.
• Don’t get in the hot tub.  This is true for uninjured skaters as well.  Too much hot tub time makes you dehydrated and your muscles all wobbly.  A short epsom salt soak after the bout  is fine.
• Do tape or brace your shit.  According to my doctor, people subconsciously protect their injured spot when they have something on it to remind them that something is amiss.
• Do practice beforehand.  You’re not going to sweep in on the day of the bout and save the day with your magic derby skills you’ve been saving up this whole time.  Yeah, I get that you don’t want to make your injury worse, but you need to test out what you can do.  You also don’t want to be out of shape as fuck.  Your coaches and captain need to see if you’re operating at useful levels or playing like a deer in the headlights.
• Wrap your injury immediately after the bout.  Probably some ice and anti-inflammatories too.  You won’t feel it until your endorphins wear off, but you may be swelling. Regulate immediately.
• Don’t be a wuss.  If you find yourself saying “I’ll be ok unless I get hit” or “I’m good unless I have to go fast” think really hard about what sport you play.  Either go balls to the wall or don’t.
• Speaking of which, you need to be really honest about if your playing is going to be a contribution or not.  Maybe you’re fine.    Maybe you’re at 75%. Hell, maybe your 25% is still amazing.  Is your diminished ability an asset on the track or are you just taking up space when an able-bodied person could be skating in your place?  I’ve skated in bouts where we had 9 on the bench and we just needed bodies.  That might be a time to suck it up and power through one hour of derby.  On the other hand, we’ve had games where our bench was deep and diverse and Limpy McGimpsalot was a liability.

Being a wuss and being in the way are equally bad. Figure out where you stand.

Easy test, don’t tell someone you’re hurt, see if they can tell. Scientific, right?

www.hexchromosome.com

Wine Me, Dine Me…But Really, Start with Wine - Top 5

When contemplating what to serve gentleman callers, you can offer many refreshing choices - bougie mixed drinks, plebeian beers, or the ever-popular yet completely monotonous water. What that guy sitting on the couch waiting to fondle you really wants, besides your boobies, is a beverage that is the Essence of You: A trashy act in a classy package. Let me present: WINE. In all its forms. Here are just a few out of a veritable plethora of choices, but the wines listed below I can personally guarantee are winners all around, and any and all will land that aspiring doctor/actor/television thief directly in your, ahem, bedchamber.

- Coffee will totally cure this

- Pretty sure these bites are from a human

- I think I was hit by a car last night

HANGOVER INTENSITY: 

BRAND: FALLING STAR

FLAVOR: MALBEC

PRICE:$

INEBRIATION CALCULATION: √√√

HANGOVER INTENSITY: 

From the moment you twist the cap off of this decadent crimson bottle of glory,you are hit with an aroma that is surprisingly tangy yet slightly reminiscent of a night during your junior year of college, a night on which you had a blast until someone threw up behind your couch.

Then you remember you have purchased this at the dollar store for $5 (little misnomer there, non?) and now, you will serve it. Because you do not actually care how this date goes, you are ready to get schwasted. Tip o’ the cap to Wreckliz & Dangerous for coining that little term. I added the “c” for intellectual purposes.

BRAND: FIRESTEED

FLAVOR: PINOT NOIR

PRICE: $$

INEBRIATION CALCULATION: √√

HANGOVER INTENSITY: 

Well well well, what’s this? By name alone, I think I need you in my stable, Firesteed. Clearly you promise hours of pleasure, or headache. Whichever. At about $9.99, this prevalent bottle can be found while grocery shopping, or on your hasty run to QuikTrip to buy prophylactics. FIRESTEED delivers - it’s not too pungent, not too subversive - it’s just the right amount of both. You’ll have him eating sugar cubes out of your hand in no time. You will also wake up to an amalgam of throbbing noises in your head if you insist on drinking the entire bottle by yourself. You might wish you were actually kicked in the cranium by said Fiery Steed, because that is absolutely how harsh the climb off really is. Own it. Try not to pee in a closet. Just sayin.

BRAND: BOTA BOX

FLAVOR: CLEAR

PRICE: $$

INEBRIATION CALCULATION: √√√√

HANGOVER INTENSITY: 

If nothing else, I can certify that if you’re looking for a wine that will make you say “I loooooooooooooovvvvvvvvvvvvve you” without any prompting whatsoever, STOP LOOKING BECAUSE YOU’VE FOUND IT. If you are willing to serve and/or drink it out of a coffee mug, this is the method preferred for superior enjoyment. This tastes great with ice cubes, 7-Up, and really any other non-alcoholic beverage you have in your possession. You will not regret drinking this in mass quantities. You will eat everything put in front of you to get rid of the hangover that will ensue. Wait until your man-friend leaves the vicinity for the inhaling of homemade nachos made with stale tortillas and cheese made out of nuts. That’s what I said. Remember your mom bought it for you at the fancy organic store? Exactly. Put some broccoli on top. Wash it all down with some Raspberry Zingers. Fucking yum. Go vomit immediately.

BRAND: CARLO ROSSI

FLAVOR: PAISANO (Literally, “Peasant” but could also mean “Gullible Asshole”)

PRICE: $

INEBRIATION CALCULATION: √√√

HANGOVER INTENSITY: ZERO - IT WILL NOT BE IN YOUR BODY THAT LONG

It was YOU that night in college. YOU threw up behind your own couch. YOU DRANK A GALLON OF THIS. Don’t ever do that again. Stop at half a gallon.

As mentioned previously, you cannot go wrong with these choices, as they are all stellar and will no doubt get you laid. EVEN THE LAST ONE.

In our next installment, we’ll discuss mixing vodka with 4 Loko. Don’t worry, I do not advocate that you offer this concoction until date #2.

(via fuckyeahrollergirls)